Kyla Bea

Well, I’m afraid that if any of you were holding out hopes that you could cross breed your dachshunds to our Schipperkes - you dreams are being dashed against the rocks as we speak. Today is D-Day for the puppies. They’re officially six months old, have all their teeth and so they’re off to the vet!

We dropped them off this morning and they have to stay overnight, which makes me sad, but it’s giving Mister and I a night off of Puppy Parenthood to go see the new James Bond in the middle of the week, and I’m pretty sure that we’ll get beauty pageant style sashes that read RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS! when we go to pick them up, so there’s that to look forward to.

But who wouldn’t miss these guys, even if it is just for a night?

In other Bea Family animal news my sister’s mostly feral orange tom cat came home this weekend dragging his front right leg - the vets were amazing and, through a little cat CSI, think he must have jumped off something very high and broken his leg on impact. They put him under for surgery and found what the vet called the worst leg break on any animal he’s seen in 30 years. Oliver’s elbow wasn’t broken, it was shattered by the landing, and the surrounding muscles and tendons are severely damaged.

I’m going to see him this week, but there was nothing they could do for his leg. We Bea’s officially own a three legged cat.

I’m bringing him catnip. Once he gets off the kitty morphine I think it’s the only appropriate gift.

Be sweet to your animals today if you have any, and to someone elses if you are without!

Hot off the presses from Blog Secret…..

I’m hosting someone’s secret and someone else is hosting mine. Want more? Browse the participants here!

I haven’t felt safe for three years.

Three years that I have been looking over my shoulder every time I’ve been in the downtown core of my hometown. Three years that I’ve had to avoid certain streets, certain restaurants, certain clubs and certain people I used to call close friends.

As far as break-ups go, ours was epic. I still don’t know who the winner is. I’ve come out on the other end with a career, a family and a life but somewhere in the shuffle I lost my sense of security and self-confidence. My nerves are shot, my self-image is gone, and I’m always bracing myself for what you might have in store for me should you ever decide to show the dark side that you hid from me for so long.

You’ve come out on the other end with the same life you had from the start. You lost the most and the least at the very same time.

I was twenty. You were in your mid-thirties despite telling me you were younger. I was a student with high hopes. You were a drug-dealer with nothing to lose. I was your innocent, naive ideal. You were my worst nightmare and my greatest opponent. You cut me off from my friends. You alienated me from my family.

You threatened my future on numerous occasions often by saying you’d end your own if you couldn’t have me.

When I left the first time, you disappeared - calling only in the middle of the night to make sure I was still sick to my stomach, telling me you were going to die quietly and leave me in peace. Me - a twenty-year-old already blaming myself for your death. You roped me back in, chained with guilt, fear and the knowledge that a clean break had escaped me.

When I left the second time, you took a different approach. That night was my first experience with physical abuse. The walls of my apartment never looked the same after being thrown into them. My balcony never looked the same after you climbed up onto it and slammed the glass panes in the middle of the night. My courtyard never looked the same after my big brother shuffled me quickly from the lobby into his car for a late-night escape. The city streets never looked the same after I spent months on the look-out for the people you promised would never let me forget my mistakes.

We’re lives apart but we’re still sharing a city and I’ve got the broken piece.

So Nilsa at SoMi posted a really great meme the other day and I thought that since I seem to have come into a bunch of new readers (Hi! Thank you! Be entertained! K Thanks!) I thought that this could be a good refresher!

And I really can’t post because I’m way too excited for Post Secret tomorrow.

Enjoy!

LAYER ONE:

• Name: Kyla
• Birthdate: May 23, 1985
• Birthplace: Winnipeg, Manitoba
• Current location: Winnipeg!
• Eye color: Blue
• Hair color: Brunette
• Height: 5′ 7″
• Righty or lefty: Righty
• Zodiac sign: Gemini

LAYER TWO:

• Your heritage: Ukranian & French/English, Scottish - I look like the WASP side.
• The shoes you wore today: Black and white sneakers
• Your weakness: Brie & blueberry jelly on table water crackers
• Your fears: That I came into too much good too fast and will lose everything
• Your perfect pizza: Cheese please! I’m simple.
• Goal you’d like to achieve: I would love to learn French

LAYER THREE:

• Your most overused phrase on AIM: Never used AIM - but I spam lol and = ) on twitter
• Your first waking thoughts: “…damn walking the puppies in the cold!”
• Your best physical feature: I’m really fond of my collarbone & recently my waist.
• Your most missed memory: I wish I knew my dad’s parent’s better before they passed.

LAYER FOUR:

• Pepsi or Coke: Coke - but a full can is too much & too sweet.
• McDonald’s or Burger King: BK! The BK veggie whopper rocks my world.
• Single or group dates: Either works - group ones are fun, I’d like to go on one with Emily Jane and her David soon.
• Adidas or Nike: Can I say Asics? They fit so much better!
• Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Iced Tea is kinda gross to me…
• Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!
• Cappuccino or coffee: I like both - my biggest indulgence is actually owning a small espresso machine to keep up my barista skills. Mmmm. Thank you dad!

LAYER FIVE:

• Smoke: I was a pretty heavy smoker until 4 years ago! But not since then.
• Cuss: Heck yes.
• Sing: In the car alone, so almost never because I take tansit.
• Take a shower everyday: Almost every day.
• Do you think you’ve been in love: I know so!
• Want to go to college: I have a B.A. in politics, lots of urban development & contemporary Islam classes, an amazing amount of learning happened!
• Liked high school: Parts, lots of it was brutal
• Want to get married: I didn’t think so! But I am now and it’s just the same. Very nice = )
• Believe in yourself: I have oodles of self assurance most of the time.
• Get motion sickness: Yeesh, no. But my puppy does.
• Think you’re attractive: I feel more attractive than I ever have, I’m finally growing into myself.
• Think you’re a health freak: I’m very conscious because I’ve been a vegetarian for so long, I have to be.
• Get along with your parent(s): Yep, they’re very sweet people.
• Like thunderstorms: I looove to go outside on the porch and watch them.
• Play an instrument: I can play “Hot Crossed Buns” on the piano, so no.

LAYER SIX: In the past month…

• Drank alcohol: Yep, lots of Pinot Noir!
• Smoked: No, I’m good now.
• Done a drug: Just birth control!
• Made out: Have you seen Mister? There has definitely been lots of making out.
• Gone on a date: For Nachos & beer, my kind of date.
• Gone to the mall: No I don’t think so! I don’t really go to malls.
• Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Ah! No! Too sugary!
• Eaten sushi: Yes - Sushi is my down falling. But vegetarian sushi is nice and cheap, so it’s okay.
• Been on stage: Only when we don’t have an audience in the house at my work.
• Been dumped: No, thankfully not.
• Gone skating: I wish, when the rivers freeze I want to go on the river.
• Made homemade cookies: Come on, it’s me! Yes of course, I sent some to Rachel!
• Gone skinny dipping: I’ve never done that! I should look into that..
• Dyed your hair: Yes, I’m a dye addict but I’m dying my hair withing 2 shades of my natural colour so I’m not too ahsamed.
• Stolen Anything: No

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…

• Played a game that required removal of clothing: No - I think I missed that developmental phase.
• Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes, and my natual leadership tendencies come out. Only staggaring. It’s all kinds of fun.
• Been caught “doing something”: No - I’m too old fashioned.
• Been called a tease: Yep - cause I’m a little old fashioned.
• Gotten beaten up: No, but I did have someone try to beat up me and a friend for being lesbians because we wouldn’t have a cigarette with him. As my friend is a lesbian we were ready to tear him limb from limb - but then so was the rest of the bar, so he backed off! Being gay bashed sucks, for the record.
• Shoplifted: I didn’t skip this phase, sadly.
• Changed who you were to fit in: For friends and boyfriends for a long time.

LAYER EIGHT:

• Age you hope to be married: I thought I would be married around 34 or 35 if at all - I was off my 10 years, Mister and I were married this September and I’m currently 23.
• Numbers and names of children: HA! Have you read the Twilight books? That’s pretty much how I imagine childbirth to go down. I’m not doing that for some time.
• Describe your dream wedding: 27 of my closest friends & family, good food, no speeches. It was fun!
• How do you want to die: Peacefully when my family could best cope with it, when my grandchildren are old enough to understand and be ok.
• Where you want to go to college: University of Winnipeg for life!
• What do you want to be when you grow up: A firetruck.
• What country would you most like to visit: Iran

LAYER NINE:

• Number of drugs taken illegally: I’ve taken three different kind & then tapped out (thankfully what teenage sense I had kicked in!)
• Number of people I could trust with my life: My family & a couple close friends.
• Number of CDs that I own: Mister and I own 200+ for sure, lots are samples from labels though.
• Number of piercings: Two pierced ears & one pierced nose currently
• Number of tattoos: One, I have a 7″ koi fish on my back. She’s pretty!
• Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I’m not that infamous yet.
• Number of scars on my body: I have a bunch from burning myself on the grill of the coffee shop I used to work at.
• Number of things in my past that I regret: I can’t regret without torturing myself too, so if there’s anything I regret I’ll either try to fix it or abandon it to the past if I can’t fix it.

Thanks for reading along! I’m not usually asked personal questions here but if this spurs any just leave them in the comments and I’ll do my best to take them on!

Honorary DomestiGal Goodness!

ps - Tonight on The Office they’re in Winnipeg,  where I live!

Watch to see what I’ve been complaining about!

When you choose to live an hour north of the US border, planted square in the middle of the Canadian Shield, there are some things that you accept.

In the summer, it will be one of the most mind blowing and beautiful places to live that you can think of. In between crop yields from time to time, the city will be filled with smoke as farmers burn off the stubble in their fields. In the winter, it will be cold. Big Time. Record breaking, windchill’s that cancel recess at schools for weeks on end, cold. Cold that kills people every winter.

But until it starts to cool off, every single year I forget how it feels. I get picked up and blown away in the dresses, the heels and gelati and forget that from November to May it is really, really intense to live here.

Bad news for me, the Cold has arrived.

I started by embracing it. Jackets are fun! I like hot drinks! I’m in, lets dance! But when you can still wear tights, that’s not real Cold. That’s Cold’s wing man, getting you to loosen up and relax a little. Then all of the sudden there are patches of ice everywhere and I’ve just been laid out on the sidewalk but something that feels suspiciously like a north wind.

During one of my trips to Minneapolis last year I picked up an amazing long down jacket from Target that helped me get through the winter in considerably more comfort than I’ve been in before. This year I’ve decided to build on that, so yesterday I went out and bought real winter boots, gaiters, a face mask and windproof amazing mega gloves. They’re dreamy. I want to cuddle up and drift asleep with them tonight.

Aside from the outdoor equipment I’ve developed a number of cheap survival tactics I thought I’d pass along in case anyone else is having similar trouble with the transition:

• Baby Oil - As soon as you hop out of the tub or shower, splash on some baby oil (or Vaseline for seriously dry skin). It will stop your skin from losing its moisture and stave off the dry winter feeling. So much easier to feel attractive when you’re not itchy!
• Peppermint Tea & Honey - I have this at home in the evenings and at work every afternoon. It’s such a cozy & comforting drink, it’s not milk based, and it’s about $1.00 wherever you go. Another alternative to this is just buying a hunk of ginger - chop some off, toss it in hot water with honey and you have ginger “tea”. Spicy and soothing! And crazy cheap.
• Classic Movies - This winter I’m going to start watching an old movie every couple weeks, and every week if I can manage it. I want black and white, epic, romantic, art deco, and over the top. There’s something hopelessly charming about old movies, I want to take some of that dreaminess in.
• Pied De Pepper - This is a clove, vanilla, and cinnamon foot creme that is to die for. I walk tons, and winter boots always make me feel clunky and either over cold or over hot (though I’m hoping my new boots cure this!). This stuff makes for amazing & spicy smelling toes in the winter.

I can’t be done with cold, we bought a house here after all - but I’m thoroughly done with being cold. I’m moving into some serious cozy. Any winter survival tips to share?

Speaking of yesterday’s post, any haircut I survive relatively unscaled is a huge victory!

Before…

After…

I’m really enjoying the change & have banished my flat iron for a while. I’m not regressing if I’m rocking curly hair and straight bangs, am I?

Didn’t think so. It’s 80’s chic.

I’d had medium length hair for years. From grade seven on, I was shoulder length and by the time that grade twelve was over I was officially done with my old identity. I decided to take a year off school to recharge my batteries and enroll the next year with a totally new group of people in the hopes of starting some new friendships.

But I didn’t want people to make friends with someone who looked like the Old Me. The Old Me had a boyfriend who had been publicly cheating on her for six months before she broke up with him. The Old Me was wildly angry about her friends choosing him over her. The Old Me was always placating, accommodating, never standing up for herself. The Old Me had to hit the road, she had too much baggage.

I’d thought long and hard about how to get rid of the Old Me. My tactic was mostly superficial - I pierced my nose, got a tattoo to remind me that I was different and stronger, I was enrolling in university without knowing anyone I would be in classes with… but it wasn’t quite enough. I still recognized the Old me in my face and my want to change was so strong that it made me want to scream.

It was definitely the hair. What else could it be? It had to go.

I went to a friend of a friend at her cool urban salon. The walls were pink, exposed brick and mirrors everywhere, framed in by flat panel TVs. This place looked like somewhere The New Me would like. So I uttered the words that would banish the Old Me forever.

“I’m thinking a shaggy pixie cut.”

To my credit, I brought in pictures. I was overflowing with Mandy Moore & Elisha Cuthbert pictures. I said “pixie” but all of the photo evidence I brought suggested something 3″ long at the shortest. I meant something light and flippy. My friend of a friend talked to me about what I wanted & we agreed. She started cutting from the back, and I felt so much lighter! I could feel the Old Me falling away, like someone different would be revealed when we carved some of my length away.

She had cut about a quarter of my head and was working up towards the front when she had to step away away for a moment. I turned my head to admire the first glimpse of my new haircut…..and my hair was a quarter of an inch long.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?!!

My stomach jumped into my throat, I was dizzy, reeling, I wanted to go back and re-do the past five minutes. Why was she cutting it so short?? Why was…it was…. and it slowly dawned on me that there was absolutely nothing I could do. She had cut too much of it too short for me to be able to say anything. It couldn’t be fixed, I had to just let her finished. I was paralyzed. So I sat and chatted with her, trying to mask my horror, while she cut away all of my hair and proceeded to “clean it up” with clippers. It was a quarter of an inch long on the sides and just shy of a half an inch long on the top.

I walked to my car - hyper aware of the different looks I was getting now that my shoulder length wavy locks were gone - and tried to breathe normally. I fell into the drivers seat and pulled down the mirror to have a look. I officially had a buzz cut. This was just what I needed. Now everyone who knew the Old Me would think that I was having a nervous breakdown. This would be further evidence of my state of mind, and I would be a joke to them.

Sitting in the front seat of my little blue civic, I had a total and complete meltdown. So complete that the first person I called wasn’t even a sympathetic friend. The first person I called, howling & sobbing, was my mom. Somehow I managed to drive myself home, shaking with anger and betrayal. The New Me was just as much a stranger as the Old Me. How had I possibly managed this?

The months after getting my hair chopped right off were hard. I didn’t ever consider myself a superficial person, but I guess my hair was more a part of my identity than I knew. I felt naked and raw all the time. My grandparents were concerned about me. My friends around the university didn’t recognize me for weeks - a complete blessing - and thankfully by the time they did I had built myself up to the point of being able to wave and enjoy the shock and horror of their reactions. They couldn’t handle my transformation - couldn’t process it - and some part of me relished that. I was unfathomable to them. Good for me! It said more about them than it said about me.

It took me a while, but eventually I started to love my short hair. I maintained it at a super-short length for about 8 months. I looked beautiful in my own way - my eyes popped like nothing else and while I had nothing to hide under, my features and personality were feminine in contrast with my little cut. I got more female attention than I could shake a stick at, which I was thoroughly amused & flattered by. I felt like a walking social experiment, guys & girls who would have never given me a second look when I had long hair were suddenly coming out of the woodwork, and my old friends had no idea what to make of me. I stopped trying to hide & really enjoyed that no one could quite put their finger on me at first glance anymore.

I started dating Mister when I had my buzz cut. He was the T.A. for one of my university classes - we started dating in January 2004 and had moved in together by February 2005. My hair cut was far too expensive for me to maintain when I moved out, so I started growing it out.

The “Shaggy Pixie Cut”, 4 or 5 months into growing it out

It’s taken four years but I’ve finally got the long hair that I’ve been growing my hair out for. I really love it - but I don’t let it become part of who I am. The Old Me was a girl who was paralyzed - by her relationships, friendships, image, and the imagined expectations of others. The New Me? She’s a lot more laid back, someone I would want to hang out with. She has days where she feels like a million bucks and days where she can’t get out the door in one piece. She almost never looks perfect in pictures, is unsure of herself sometimes, but she’s happier than the Old Me ever was.

With my long hair & the way I dress I think it’s easier for people to feel like they have an idea of who I am just by the way I look. If that makes them comfortable then I’m fine with that - but the New Me showed me that really, they don’t have any idea of who I am or how strong I am. They might think they have me pegged, but they really can’t put their finger on me, and that’s exactly how I like it.

Where I am in the world it’s icy and gray (and COLD!) so I’m actively seeking out things that are light & simple, cheap & modern.

Indie Chic Headband

$4.00 via Kyla Bea Crafty

Now if wearing one of these can cheer me up about having to work six days this week with no pay for my Saturday work day? Then I think I’m really onto something.

It takes me a few weeks, but I’m working on that Etsy store of mine! Note & card sets are next to be added.  Have a good weekend!

I’ve mentioned it before, but a few years ago my skin crawled when I went into a vintage store. The smell, sheer quantity of clothing…everything about it gave me the creeps. I was 19, had just moved into my first apartment and had somehow landed an $18/hour government job while I was in school.

I bought clothes at the mall & ate lots of sushi.

Four years later those heady days are gone, and while I have my degree in hand I’m working at a $13/ hour not-for-profit job with a theatre. I still eat sushi, but I definitely don’t buy my clothes at the mall anymore. Every few Saturdays I grab a cart and go root around for whatever I feel I’m missing in my wardrobe. I can usually get 7 items for $60, anything from dresses to oversized sweaters and high waisted skirts. Whatever is in, it’s there.

I’ve started reading street style blogs (start with lookbook.nu), and have actually started having fun with getting dressed! Me! Who didn’t know how to apply liquid eyeliner two years ago!

The only problem I’ve had with shopping vintage is that a lot of what I buy requires basic alterations. I love my oversized men’s shirts & altering 80s lady blouses, but I’m screwed when I have to cut 8″ of material out of the back or change their sleeves! Free or cheap sewing machines are easy enough to find at local garage sales, Op Shops, or freecycle listing, but the pinning that’s required to reign in some of my favourite finds can be really hard sometimes.

Enter the duct tape dress form, love of my life.

Last seen in action in the first minute of my video blogging world premier.

The original tutorial is from etsy labs & details how you can create an exact replica of your body to use for a perfect basis for alterations.

The Duct Tape Dress Form Tutorial a la Kyla Bea

Materials

• 3 rolls of duct tape
• 1 long t-shirt you’re willing to cut up
• a hanger (preferably one that has a top you can spin around indefinitely so you don’t accidentally break it later)
• a helper
• A bag of poly-fill (pillow stuffing) from your craft store or mega consumer centre.

Method to the Madness

1. Put on a long T-Shirt that covers the area of your body you want your dress form to have your measurements for (ie - want the bum in there for dresses? Find a longer T-Shirt!)
2. Have your helper start taping around you, starting at the bottom of the T-Shirt, wrapping up.



(Take a picture cause it’s weird that someone is wrapping you in duct tape!!)

3. When you get to the bust tape vertically to help reinforce the desired shape.
4. Figure out something for the shoulders! I wrapped around a number of times like I was making duct tape suspenders.
5. Repeat until you have made the form three layers of duct tape thick.
6. Mark centre on the front and back for reference with one big line down the middle vertically, and another one horizontally.
7. Have your assistant cut you out from the back!
8. Slide the hanger into the dress form and start re-attaching the back together. Seal off the sleeves, neck & bottom with duct tape.
9. Stuff!

Want more Pictures? Check out Etsy’s original version!

Bea’s Tips

• I used a bag of poly-fill that was almost the same size as me to fill the form, so don’t think you’re buying too much when you eye the bag.
• I found that after a few days my dress form was peeling! I had overstuffed it slightly, but I liked how firm that made the form so I added final layer of packing tape to the dress form and it has stopped exploding out from its self.
• The last layer of tape, whatever kind you use, should consist of as many long pieces as you can muster. This will add the the overall structural integrity of the piece.
• I broke the original hanger in my dress form by accidentally spinning it around too far. Fixing this was easy, I cut the hanger out and swapped it for a metal & plastic hanger that I can spin around as much as I like, and then taped it right back in.
• After I finished this, I broke into a really fine red rash. I’m hyper sensitive and I think the plastic in the duct tape gave me a small reaction, so if this happens to someone equally as squishy you’re not alone & it’ll go away in a day. You must suffer to be beautiful!

This project is a lot of fun, and worth tackling if only so you can let your co-workers know that you like getting wrapped up in duct tape on the weekends. Just don’t say it too loud!

What an amazing night, huh?

I know it’s an emotional thing, but I feel safer already.

For my American family & for me.

We all can. Thank you so much for reminding us.